I expect that your server may not have public IP address available.
Other possibility is that something between client and server is blocking access.
What you may try is configuring simpler service (like web server) in the same way. If it will work, then problem is Tor-specific, if not, then access is just blocked somehow.
Also, I think that SocksListenAddress and SocksPolicy lines are not needed. SocksPort 0.0.0.0:9050 should be enough.